Bill: I too am going through an Ambien thing – about once a week I have to take 2 and even that gets me only 3 or 4 hours of steady sleep (or puts me in so deeply that I don’t wake up til 1 pm). This Bipolar thing is still so new to me, I’m taking it one day at a time and using a mood chart and journal to help understand my triggers and patterns.

Seth: Are you referring to “A Woman Under the Influence”? I can’t figure out which one – tell me :)
There are a lot of movies about practically every other condition – if you know of any about bipolar specifically, I’d love to know. Call me a glutton for punishment, but I like watching those dark sort of movies.

And this shit IS expensive! I saw that my prescription would easily cost me $600 monthly if I didn’t have insurance through my husband. I can see how people with any disorder like ours (Axis 1) could have to choose getting their meds or paying rent/buying food – much less the other regular expenses of life. I know I could not work a regular job (with my own benefits), and I shudder to think of what would happen if I did lose my benefits.

I saw on a Canadian website that you can get it for $118 - $155 (at your same dose and # of pills). Don’t know if you have tried searching for it outside the US. Try www.pharmacychecker.com for some comparison shopping. I was amazed at how low some of the prices are

Mark: I agree – telling my doctor and therapist everything is becoming not only easier, but very helpful (particularly regarding the meds, which we’re keeping at 200mg/day until we see how the Annual Spring Mania episodes go). I’m feeling more secure in the relationships I have with the doctors, so that’s a good thing for me to remember when the days are long and rough.
I have a hard time meditating (racing thoughts that just won’t leave me alone) – however, I got a treadmill, and that has become a kind of meditation for me. I have gotten up to 10 miles a day, and that has so many benefits, I just don’t know what I would do without that darn thing. And my ass is looking great again. Lol

Akasha: It’s posts like yours – positive Lamictal stories—that keep me hanging on to the “lucky” feeling that I tolerate that med so well. And for now, I don’t have any other pills to take, so I guess I’m lucky there too. We’ll see if that has to change with that wild upswing I always feel in Spring and Summer. Those months are frickin CRAZY – unbounded energy, sleepless for days, racing tangential thoughts, grandiose perceptions, and sex sex sex on the brain. In a way, I’m going to miss that World Is My Oyster feeling.

I totally understand your feelings about work – it’s hard enough to get out of bed some days, and just as hard to keep a leash on myself other days. I always had a hard time keeping jobs when I was younger and now I just don’t think I could do a regular M-F 9-5 situation. I hope you can find work that is both flexible to your needs and satisfying for you.

I do still have occasional thoughts about What Life Would Be Like without the Lamictal. I know myself ‘well enough’ to acknowledge I have the capacity to do something like stop taking the med ---especially on those I’m Feeling GREAT days. This tribe is pretty much what keeps me on track with staying on. (and thank you all for THAT!!)