Well, I was just told that my mother will die in the next few years from heart faliure.So,I have had to except that one of my biggest support is going to be gone.I am so not ready for this at all.Its been really pressing down hard on me.Has anyone had something like this happen to them..I worry that I will have a bi-polar break down when it does happen.I have told my doctor so he will be ready for when it really happens.I am just not ready for this at all when it comes to my emotions..." love them like they are leaving tommorrow because they maybe leaving alot sooner then we think..."
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Kansas City
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Re: Losing a part of my supportive circle..
Tue, May 13, 2008 - 12:00 AMI saw this post yesterday.. but didn't respond... basically because I don't know how to.. but it is devastating news and it is natural to be upset about it.
I guess the idea of loosing a parent would devastate many - including people older than you who don't have BP. I shudder at the idea of my folks dying - but know it will happen one day. They have had several health scares of the years.. and I find it hard to deal with. I think I am very independent of my parents - but at the same time I love them and know I could turn to them if the shit really hit the fan.. when they leave me I will feel a great sense of loss and knowing I was going to loose them in a specific time frame would be really really hard.. still you never know, she might be around for decades.. Hope so..
It is easy to take any relationship for granted until you are faced with, or indeed do, loose that relationship. And maybe you said the best thing possible when you said ..." love them like they are leaving tomorrow because they maybe leaving a lot sooner then we think..."
Anyway - I just wanted to chime in and say I read your post and cared . And I hope the time you have will all those you love is the best it can be . -
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Re: Losing a part of my supportive circle..
Thu, May 22, 2008 - 6:09 PMmy dad had a stroke a while back and it sent me on quite a spiral, but he and i weren't on speaking terms when it happened. he was okay and i ended up realizing that i could either accept and love him for who he was or have this aching spot where a father should be, regardless of his flaws. i feel like i'm on borrowed time with him. i know what you're saying about knowing it will hit you like a ton of bricks. i've made sure to communicate with other members of my support system how hard this will be for me, talked with my man about how i would need him to go with me to dallas cuz i won't be able to deal with it alone, and although i'm sure it will still SUCK, it seems like it is a healthy thing to set up a losing dad support network. i know one of the times someone calls me to let me know he's in the hospital again, he won't be coming out, and it is frightening. the idea in itself is trying, don't forget to be gentle with yourself when facing this.
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Re: Losing a part of my supportive circle..
Sat, May 24, 2008 - 1:01 PMHi amanda, I'm JoAnne. I have had bipolar disorder form many years. I'm 50 years old now and I lived for 45 years with my mother who "took care of me". However she never helped me learn to develop other support systems. She passed away suddenly last April and I was sort of tossed to the wind and had to start learning to swim in a world that zooms in on our vulnerability. I'm sorry to hear about your father's illness. Take much time to love him but also put yourself in places that become supportive systems. I found a wonderful church group. I found NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) and started doing lots of volunteer work with and for other people with mental illnesses. It helped me learn how to reach out and how to give back. Unfortunately I spent a year under extreeme stress which didn't have to be that bad, and was Manic for a year, in the hospital 4 times and outpatient groups still. I take high doses of Lamictal and Seroquel and lithium. Been taking lamictal for 10 years. just saying the drugs cause others are talking about them. Overall, I'm feeling much better. I miss my Mom alot but I've been pretty angry at the same time. This time didn't have to be so hellacious. 45 years of living with her, and I never had a clue. I'm helping others here now that have aging caregivers. Talking to the caregivers and just giving them a few words about what happened to me and hoping they will get a clue.
